Understanding Your Inner Critic

So, we are already into the New Year. For some of us, resolutions of exercise and healthier living, increased sleep or self-care, improved relationships and compassionate engagements have long since been forgotten, replaced with self-deprecation, and even self-loathing. Cycles of critical inner dialogue which served to foster ever increased failure and quash any hopes of motivation are frustrating to be sure. Sometimes, this self-narrative can feel debilitating. The more we lean in to this cycle of thought, the more we will lean in, and the harder it becomes to challenge this inner critique, and provide a more accurate self-narrative.

So, where to begin? Perhaps the first step comes with a deeper look at the inner critic. Forging a deeper understanding of motivations and accuracies of the thoughts we carry. Perhaps then we can challenge those defeating and unproductive thoughts with one which more accurately describes the current situation. Then we may shift our thoughts to one which contains accurate data and constructs of presence and gratitude.

So let’s return to some of those resolutions for the New Year. Perhaps one of them was to exercise or eat healthier. Perhaps great effort has been made, with a few stumbles. And yet, even with the effort, our minds only explore those stumbles. In these circumstances, we can recognize that inner critic by looking more deeply at the thought, acknowledging the effort, and recognizing the data. In this instance, allowing for the stumbles as we journey toward an overall increased status of overall health. With that awareness of the inner critic, as well as the data, we can then choose the path we continue to walk, either in defeat with the thoughts of the inner critic overwhelming our system, or in victory with the awareness that, although not as we expected, we can still move forward, achieve our goals and recognize challenges which may come up, while we strive.

Supports can be truly helpful in teasing out the inner critic versus the data. Having an inner circle of individuals with who you have trust and openness allows for open dialogue and increased inner awareness regarding your inner critic and the patterns which may exist. Classic patterns regarding not being enough, or being unlikeable or unlovable, can be more easily dismissed or disputed, when engaging with a trusted and valued support person. Additionally, engagement with a trusted support person allows for a more open and honest view of goals, as well as expectations.

Being aware of our self-narrative, as well as our inner critic, can provide important insight regarding patterns of motivation, self-awareness, reflecting and striving. Using tools and strategies in furtherance of increased awareness, is a great first step toward that goal.

© 2026: Donna J Clarke/Integrative Pathways Counseling, LLC. All rights reserved.